


Never Forget to Burn the Evidence

by fenellaevangela



Category: Fake News FPF
Genre: Gen, Report 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-07
Updated: 2009-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 16:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenellaevangela/pseuds/fenellaevangela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meg and Bobby stand guard at <i>The Colbert Report</i> while Stephen spends election night at <i>The Daily Show</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Forget to Burn the Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> This grew out of a response to [](http://sailorptah.livejournal.com/profile)[**sailorptah**](http://sailorptah.livejournal.com/)'s prompt on the [kiss meme](http://canadian-plant.livejournal.com/12370.html). As for Bobby being around in November, may I refer you to [this](http://reseda-ptah.livejournal.com/40774.html)?

Why are we here, again?"

Bobby turned, not taking his eyes off of the video feed. "You know Stephen wants us to guard the studio while he's on The Daily Show, Meg."

"Yes, but _why_?" Meg gestured towards the screen, where Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were discussing the latest results from the polls. "Shouldn't we be over there? It's _Stephen_ , doesn't he want his own staff?"

Bobby shrugged. They watched as their boss did what he did best: insult people without realizing he was doing anything inappropriate.

"Aren't you glad to have a night away from him?"

Meg rolled her eyes. "You would - "

Bobby suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth. She glared and was about to give him a piece of her mind when he whispered quietly, "Did you hear that?"

Puzzled, Meg took a moment ... and yes, there it was, just above the sound of the video feed. She turned towards the source.

"Someone's in the hallway."

Bobby nodded. He slowly turned down the volume of the television set, and they could hear footsteps approaching the control room where they sat.

"Who ... ?"

"No one's supposed to be here," Bobby hissed. "Everything's locked, and Stephen gave the rest of the staff the night off."

The footsteps were almost at the door.

Bobby gulped. "If it's a crook, Stephen will _kill_ us."

"If the crook doesn't do it first," Meg said.

They looked at eachother, the approaching footsteps and the soft voices from the video feed providing a backdrop to their pounding hearts. Moving as one they both lunged forward, clumsily kissing and groping eachother in a panicked frenzy. Distracted by their awkward embrace, they noticed too late when the intruder burst into the room.

"It's a Cenac Attack!" he yelled, brandishing a length of rope infront of him. Startled, Meg and Bobby sat still, their arms still hanging loosely around eachother.

"Yeah, that's right, don't move!" Wyatt said. He walked over to where the other two were sittng and began looping the rope around them both, trapping them in their chairs. They were completely dumbfounded; he was just tieing the first knot when Bobby spoke up.

"Hey, wait," he said. "What are you doing?"

"The country is changing, and this show is changing with it," Wyatt explained unhelpfully. He secured Meg's ankles to the base of her swivel chair. "I don't have anything against you two, but frankly? Your boss is nuts." He paused for a moment, but received no argument. "I don't want his minions running around while I'm setting up. No offense."

"None taken. Actually, working for Stephen is - "

Meg cut Bobby off. "But what are you going to do?" she asked.

Wyatt begged off, saying that to tell would be to ruin the surprise; then he wheeled her and Bobby down the hall and locked them in a storage room.

*

Finally asleep after hours of vain escape attempts, Meg and Bobby were awoken by a shrill shriek.

"Bobby!" Tad screamed, dropping the boxes he was carrying. "What ... ?"

"Oh, thank God!" Meg exclaimed. "We didn't think anyone would find us."

"It's only seven o'clock," Tad explained. "I'm the only one here. What happened?"

Bobby gestured with his head. "Untie us first?"

"Oh!"

As Tad fumbled with Wyatt's knots, Bobby told him how he and Meg had been ambushed.

"But, security caught him!" Tad said, helping Meg untangle from her bonds. "Stephen called them right after Mr. Cenac's broadcast!"

Meg and Bobby shared a look. "I suppose he forgot we were here," Bobby suggested. "Or maybe ... "

Tad nodded but Meg shook her head. "Don't delude yourself. Leaving us here was probably his idea of punishment for not guarding the studio properly."

Bobby looked conflicted. "Well ... maybe. But - "

"No buts, I'm too sleep-deprived to argue. I'm also hungry, do you want to get some breakfast?"

"Oh, um, sure," Bobby said. He turned to Tad. "Wanna come?"

"Well ... " he glanced briefly at the boxes still strewn outside the storage room door. "I already ate. I should get to work."

"Oh, come on! Blow it off for a few hours; Stephen'll never know," Meg insisted.

Tad shook his head. "Don't be so sure," he said, and glanced pointedly at the security camera in the corner of the room.

"Pshaw," Meg said. "Like he'll be looking for you when there was a break-in last night. Come with us."

After a few more moments vacillation, Tad agreed to accompany his co-workers to breakfast. They headed downstairs and he locked the door to the studio as they left.

"Do they have any idea how Cenac got in?" Bobby asked.

"Oh, you know," Tad answered, as they walked down the street. "Probably the same way they always get in. I told Stephen that he should lock the back door, but he insists that if he doesn't have quick access to Mr. Stewart's studio 'the terrorists win'."

Bobby shrugged while Meg rolled her eyes. They walked a little further before stopping at a corner deli.

"What do you think?" Tad asked, indicating the deli.

"Looks good," said Meg.

"Yeah, sure," agreed Bobby, and he pulled the door open. Delicious smells wafted into the street.

Tad inhaled deeply. "Mmm. Thanks, guys. I'm glad I came."

The trio went inside. They took their place at the end of a line of cracky New Yorkers, none of whom appeared to have had a cup of coffee before leaving the house that morning.

"So," asked Tad, shuffling sideways to avoid another customer. "Anything interesting happen during Mr. Cenac's hijacking?"

Bobby blushed and coughed. "Uh, not so much," he said.

"Oh really?" asked Meg, a coy smile on her lips.

The blush deepened and Bobby looked at her sharply. "Yeah, really."

Suspicious, Tad gave them both an odd look. "Am I missing something?" he asked.

Bobby shook his head vigorously. "Not at al - "

"I'll show you later," Meg interrupted. "I'm sure the security camera caught _everything_."

Glancing between Meg's expression of glee and Bobby's uncomfortable grimace, Tad had no doubt that 'interesting' most likely meant 'embarassing'.

"That's all right," he said, and Bobby's relief was obvious, although Meg looked a bit disappointed. "I don't need to see it. Anyway, how would I get my hands on the tape? Stephen will be reviewing last night's footage as soon as he gets in today."

Tad had to stifle a smirk as his two companions blanched in tandem. Then he frowned as they both turned and rushed out of the deli, running back down the street to the studio.

"So much for breakfast," he sighed, and left the line to follow them.


End file.
